Updated: May 21, 2020
Earlier this week, a situation made me feel sad and I became slightly ungrounded. My mind state or monkey mind very quickly spread a fantasy story like wild fire that took me away from myself. I saw that this was happening and recognised that this was my state at that moment and really not all of me. How to find balance?
Luckily, I was reminded that whenever I feel lost, I can come home. I sat and meditated, sensing my body: my spine, back upright, my arms, my legs and feeling my body sitting, touching the ground, in contact with earth, returning to the sensation of breathing and being in my body, being present. Then it became clear to me that the thing that I thought had made me feel sad wasn’t the thing at all. As I breathed into my lower abdomen, then into my solar plexus and then into my chest, my lungs felt like they were clogged up with a century’s worth of dark tar that needed to be dredged up and coughed out. I cried. Grief, whether inherited or not, is deep-seated: mine deep, deep sea deep. I accept this as part of me. Acknowleding this and being honest with ourselves can be painful but it can also open up a door towards healing.
Each time I sit and meditate, I get to know myself a bit more. I acknowledge how I feel at that moment, without judgement or commentary. In the silence and stillness, something softens inside and opens up for me the possibility of becoming more aligned with my true self. I am touched by a sensation of real joy that comes with accepting how I am, no matter what I see.
Being in my body, being grounded and being present in body, mind and spirit is about Being in life and being more whole. This has helped me to navigate difficult terrain and challenging moments in my personal and professional life.
Right now, we are all living in uncertain times. There is much anxiety about the present and the future. Yet in the midst of this, I feel that we also need to find our own truth beyond what we hear other people say or read in the news.
Returning home to sensing my body, I see that we each have a unique spiritual path. We can be touched by a higher vibrational frequency that is beyond the mind and also beyond space and time so that distance melts. There is a higher presence which is here to help us. We just need to dare to be open to it and let ourselves be guided. We can tune into this by trusting and letting go of what we think we know or want to achieve or the direction that we think our future is moving towards. With the ordinary mind, we cannot know what our future will be.
When I do not know how to Be, I sit or meditate and ask for help.
Life is unpredictable. Each day, I try and be sincere and truly give my attention to friends and loved ones (these days through Zoom, Skype or phone calls) and remember if I can, to treasure each moment as though it was our last.
I will leave you with this poem which Tracy Cochran from Parabola Magazine has talked about. It speaks of the possibility every day to be present and to be here in life.
The Way It is
By William Stafford
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change. But it doesn’t change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it you can’t get lost. Tragedies happen; people get hurt or die; and you suffer and get old. Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding. You don’t ever let go of the thread.